Even When Im Locked Away, Im Never Alone
by xoxJoJoRulesBabyxox
Summary: Sometimes You Feel Alone. When Someone You Love Dies, Those Insecurities Surface. Taylor Will Realise What Really Matters.Not My Best Story. Please R&R [RT&SS]


**Disclaimer:** Unfortunatly i still don't own The O.C

I was very tired when i wrote this, It isn't very good in my personal opinion.

So if i don't get any reviews i will probs delete it

Thnks

**JoJo**

xoxo

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"Ryan, are you home?" Taylor called for her fiancé though the house they shared.

She placed her bag and keys down on the sofa and walked carefully into the kitchen something felt wrong.

She stopped to the sight I the kitchen.

Kirsten, Sandy, Ryan, Summer, Neil and Seth were all sitting around the kitchen, they all turned look at her with concerned and worried faces.

Why were they here? This really confused her. Why was Neil Roberts back from Seattle? A feeling of fear stirred inside her.

"What's wrong? Has something happened?" She tried to hide the fear in her voice and only semi succeeded.

Ryan started towards her, "Sweetie maybe you should sit down!" He placed a comforting but guiding hand on her arm.

"No! What's wrong?" She pulled her arm out of his grasp; she was no longer able to mask the fear out of her voice.

She looked around at them all, waiting for an answer, they all looked too scared to answer her, afraid of the reaction the news may bring.

When everybody stopped looking in her eyes she just wanted them to tell her, then Neil spoke up.

"Taylor, your mum was admitted into Seattle Grace hospital, early yesterday morning. She as involved in a car accident" He was interrupted by Taylor's gasp and her clenching the back of a chair. Ryan started towards her but she put up her hand to stop him.

She couldn't look at anybody else in the room, she was afraid the truth would show on their faces

"Is she okay?" she tried to keep calm as she faced him tried, she not to panic at the next words that may come out of his mouth.

"We tried everything we could, but the injuries were too excessive, I'm so sorry Taylor…"

"She's dead, That can't be, No, No, No, No!!" She placed her hand on her heart, it was breaking, Ryan came over to her but she pushed him away, She ran upstairs locked her self in her and Ryan's room, where she hoped she would wake up and it would all be a bad dream.

She breathed in and out deeply, closing her eyes she tried to come to terms with the news she had just received. She was scared. Her mum had always been a tough willing person, she was incredibly hard on Taylor for having no friends, to be honest she was a totally bitch. However after earthquake happened they realised how much they needed each other and meant to one another. They started to build a relationship, all ill feelings towards one another gone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the bedroom door. She opened her eyes slowly and stared at the door.

"Taylor, I know this seems hard and tough, but locking yourself away isn't going to help, I know i'm properly the last person you want to talk to but I knew your mother for a very long time, she loved you and she wouldn't want you to hide away." Neil finished talking to the closed door.

Taylor didn't say anything, she didn't want to reply, and he did break her though.

She hadn't cried for her mum, but he made her realise that everything her mum did wasn't out of spite (well not a lot of it) it was because she loved Taylor, everything she did was for Taylor.

She let the tears fall silently without letting a sob escape her lips.

She heard somebody else come up the stairs.

"Taylor, your scared aren't you?" When she didn't answer he continued "it's normal to be scared but you have us all here for you to help you. People who are your family as well, even if they are not our blood. You helped Ryan, Seth and Summer through everything that happened with Marissa. Ryan fell in love again because he met you. Taylor what i'm trying to say is that your not alone even if you feel it" Sandy Cohen, always has a way of words, always knows exactly how your feeling and pin points all the reasons why you re needed.

Taylor was scared, not just scared. She was petrified.

"We are going to leave you alone for a bit okay We are all downstairs, e are not leaving until we know your okay! Julie has Sophie so we can stay here all night." She heard Sandy and Neil stand and make there way downstairs.

She could hear them mumbling, however she couldn't decipher what they were saying.

Taylor sat there, lost in her own thoughts and memories.

The windows grew dark outside and she realised she had been sat her for at least 2 hours.

She walked over towards the window and looked out at the stars she found some strange sense comfort her.

"Taylor it's me, well you know who I am obviously; I meant it would be weird if you couldn't recognise my voice…" Seth's rambling ceased as Taylor rolled her eyes and tuned to look at the door.

"Well anyway we ordered in some pizza if you want any, you havn't exactly ate much since you came home." He tried o hard she had to answer him, she didn't want to

"I'm not hungry" The words left her mouth before she could stop them.

"Okay Taylor but I mean do want a drink, you must be dehydrated its quite hot, its summer and you are locked inside a room."

"I'm fine Seth just go…and eat your pizza" She didn't want to sound rude, or hurt him but she can't handle his ramblings, next he'll be offering her comic books to read.

"Well you know where we are okay." He descended the stairs and she was left in silence again.

More time passed, about half an hour more of loneliness, more thoughts of times passed like her birthdays she spent on her own but her mum always gave her what she wanted.

"Taylor sweetie can you let me in so we can you let me so we can talk" Kirsten's voice was calm but fear was still present.

Taylor didn't answer she was scared to see the person who had been more of a mother to her than the one who he had lock her self away for.

"Well if you don't want me to come in sweetie that's fine but we are worried about you, you've been up here all night, you haven't eaten, you haven't cried. This isn't healthy; I know how it feels to lose your parents. I was friends with your mum for along time, she would want you to stand up strong not to be like this. Please honey, come out!" Her pleads met a cold silence.

Taylor felt a lump rise in her throat; she wouldn't let herself cry again.

She blocked out the rest of the words that Kirsten said.

She just stared at the moon in the sky while she slowly sat on the bed and closed her eyes. She couldn't handle the pain she felt.

She turned towards the clock and looked at the time.

2.30 AM, time can go so fast, she could hear them talking downstairs.

They were still here, that she couldn't believe, she knew they cared but they all had certain aspects of there life they needed t attend to. Like Kirsten and Sandy had Sophie, Seth had work, summer had a G.E.O.R.G.E protest.

"Taylor come on this isn't going to bring her back. Locking yourself away, it doesn't help. I tried that when my mum left and when Marissa died. It doesn't help, it makes it worse, and you mask your feelings." Summer sighed and Taylor heard her place her head on the door.

Taylor hesitantly made her way towards the door and sat down next to it.

"Why are you still here? What about G.E.O.R.GE?" She asked curiously.

Summer was surprised she had asked a question instead of just tell us to leave her alone.

"Well the protest is tomorrow but even though it is apart of my destiny, my friends are bigger part of my destiny and my life. Taylor i'm scared." Taylor heard a quiver in her voice.

"Why are you scared? You have people who really love you. And a dad, who would do anything for you!"

"I'm scared because i'm afraid that what has just happened to you will happen to me and i'm afraid that you might not come back from this. I can't lose somebody else, especially not another best friend." Summer held back the tears.

"I'll be fine, just go home and get some sleep, go and protest summer" Taylor moved away from the door and curled up on the bed.

"Taylor I am not, repeat **NOT** leaving this house, protest or not, until you come out of this room!" And with this Summer went down the stairs.

Taylor felt bad but she didn't want people to sacrifice what they loved for her, she wasn't worth it.

Taylor felt the hours past, they still at down stairs in the kitchen talking keeping them and each other awake.

5 am, the sky started to lighten as her first night of her being alone passed.

Taylor resumed her sitting position on the bed, a soft knock on the door made her freeze.

"Taylor..." Ryan's voice sounded and Taylor relaxed a little.

"I'm not here to beg you to come out or to ask you to let me in because i know you won't because your stubborn like that. You know what i'm like with my feelings, I choke but I'm not going to this time Taylor. You are going through a hard time, but sitting in there isn't going to help, I love you Taylor and I want you to let me in so I can tell you face to face and not through a door looking like a prat."

A smile formed on her lips, he must look like an idiot.

"So until you decide that you are ready to let me in, or come out I'm going to stand here a stalk you until your ready."

Taylor realised she cold resist his charm or his way with words

Slowly she walked towards to the door.

A shaky hand reached out for the lock.

One turn clockwise, and a click in the door made Ryan jump.

Taylor opened the door to face the love of her life, her knight in shinning armour.

"How am I going to go on without her, she's my rock, somebody to sort out all my problems, we had our problems but know that she's gone I don't have that special love hate relationship we have, Ryan what am I going to do." And with that Taylor's tears broke through the hold.

She feels to the floor as the sobs took control over her body.

Ryan held her as she cried whispering soothing words into her ear.

One by one, Summer, Seth, Kirsten and Sandy all come up to her and Ryan where they were positioned and helped to comfort her as the tears fell down her cheeks.

Then at that precise moment Taylor realised.

That no matter what happens.

They were her family and she loved them and they loved her.

And she was never alone.

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Thankyou for reading

Please R&R

Let Me Know What You Think


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